“Solitude is where one discovers one is not alone.” –Marty Rubin
We love animals, and believe in the therapy pets can provide. We also believe we can learn from them.
One of Deb’s cats has a secret drawer where she hides when life gets a little too stressful. She’ll use that alone time to calm down, and when she’s ready, she’ll come out and face the world again. Her resource to foster her strengths is a secret drawer. It’s her stress management.
Do you ever feel like you need a “secret drawer”, where you can think about things and reframe your focus on things that are going well? (Check out our January 2, 2019 post for more thoughts on reframing).
Are you someone who re-energizes by taking some alone time? Or by spending time in a group? If you’ve ever completed a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Personality Test you understand this concept. In Myers-Briggs, an introvert replenishes their energy with much needed alone time, because their energy is drained when with a group (which differs from the common thought that introverts are simply quiet and shy). An extrovert, however, needs to be around others to “fill their tank” and recharge.
When employing a solution focused approach to help others create solutions, it’s key to understand how people re-energize. To help flush this out, we can explore where they get their strength from? How they have coped in the past? How they have managed? When they answer these questions, it’s then possible to identify the type of solution they have engaged in, and encourage them to engage in these helpful behaviors more often. Keep in mind, when using a solution focused approach, the solutions do not have to be directly related to any identified problem. The focus is on what the desired future for the individual is, and pinpointing how to move in that direction. So when things are going well, we want to encourage engaging in behaviors from that time, more often.
What resources can you pull from when you need a secret drawer? If a little down time helps reduce stress or gives your mind the bandwidth to think and identify solutions, then take a secret drawer break. Or, maybe going out with people is what you need. Maybe you need a little of both, depending on the day.
A secret drawer may help you focus on and identify your solutions.
